local man thinks he has a hyena in backyard - calls DNR

Mark, a local resident, called the Department of Natural Resources yesterday and reported that he heard a hyena in his backyard. "After I called, I looked out the window of my backdoor, and I could still hear what sounded like a wild hyena right near the side of the house, but I couldnt see anything. Then, I stepped right outside my door a little, and saw it standing up against the fence wih it's wild frizzy brown mane sticking up over the rose bush. I was petrified, I froze right there on my backdoor steps, and all I could hear was 'AAAACCKKKHHAHAHA ACCKKKHAHAHA' over and over again. So I called the Department of Natural Resources, hoping they could catch it and take it off of my property, and when they got here, I stuck my head out the front door and pointed them to the side of the house, and said 'it's still over there'. So they went over there and came back and knocked on my door and said 'sir, it's just your wife talking to the neighbor'. I said 'are you serious?? what the hell could she be cackling that much about?', and the man said 'not sure sir..but it had something to do with you walking around scratching your butt, that's all I know."